Thanks for sharing your personal "JW story". I was particularly touched by the part where you said you cried for days after losing your hope of everlasting life. That's a tough one isn't it ? My wife and I faded in our early 50's after being raised in the religion. Like you, it was a perfect storm of events and doctrinal conflicts that made being a JW intolerable. We had to come to grips with our own mortality in a matter of days rather than over a lifetime as most people do. Sometimes the pain and emptiness was unbearable, but here we are, years down the road, making more than just a go of things. Coming to grips with ones own mortality is a very freeing thing once it happens. It's much easier to deal with than having to constantly convince yourself that you're going to live forever in a paradise when you know on some deep level that it can't possibly be real.
It's difficult at first but try not to spend too much time on "what might have been". When those thoughts come up, shoo them away just as you'd shoo away flies buzzing around at a picnic you were trying to enjoy. Why let those kinds of thoughts spoil your day? After all, what is wasted time really? Time passes and is gone, whether we do something productive with it or not. What if you'd have been allowed to attend University and you'd been hit by a bus a week after graduating? None of us knows if things would be any better if we'd have turned left instead of right at a fork in life's road.The main thing is that you're still here and will do better now that you know better.
I found that most if not all of the depression and anxiety I suffered over the years was due to suppressing my own common sense and from attending those bleak and mind numbing meetings. Once I was away from all of that and I had recovered from the rude awakening that I had been duped, things began to get better and better.
My hope is that this will be the case for you as well. It would be great if you could manage to continue on as you are without the JW's doing any more damage to your life than they already have. I hope that by formally disassociating, you won't be burning any bridges or making things more difficult.
You know what's best in your own circumstance but the main thing is you are moving forward and no longer spinning your wheels chasing after a fantasy.